Tuesday, May 15, 2012
Journal Entries
It seems like a good idea to have everyone write a funny
journal entry about something that is either assigned or that we choose. But
when it actually comes to it, it’s kind of annoying. Sometimes I just can’t
think of funny things to write about off the top of my head. If you give me a
topic then maybe I can figure out something funny to write about, like the time
I said Merry Christmas to my Jewish neighbor, but even that is a stretch. I’m
not really a funny person so these journals are just a pain in my butt. I can
be sarcastic. My sarcasm is probably the only slightly funny thing about me but
a lot of people don’t know how to read sarcasm through text. Some people can’t
even tell when I’m being sarcastic when I’m actually talking to them. But
anyways, back to my journal entry. Not only are you asking me to write a
journal entry but you want me to make up my own topic. That bothers me. I’m not
funny enough to think of a funny topic AND write a funny journal entry on it at
the same time. These stupid journals are just a pain in my butt.
Thursday, April 5, 2012
Eating Disorder Demolition
8 to 10 million Americans, 10 to 15%, suffer from an eating disorder. The eating disorders we are dealing with are anorexia and bulimia. Anorexia is when someone starves themselves in order to lose weight. They have a very limited intake of calories, at the most five hundred a day. Bulimia is when people will go on a binge eating spree and then regurgitate all of it, also to lose weight.
Besides interventions and rehabs (which tend not to be as successful as people would like to think; only about 30 to 40% of people ever recover from the disorder), what else could we ever possibly do to fix this problem? Nothing ever seems to work does it? These poor women (and even some men) consider themselves so overweight and grotesque that they need to starve themselves and refuse to allow themselves to intake food. If only there was a way to actually force these people to eat. If only we could do something to fix this is terrible statistic. But there really isn’t anything we can do. If they want to starve themselves we really can’t help them, right? Wrong! If we could gather up every person who is underweight and make them eat, we could help them. I understand that there are people who are just simply overweight due to genetics or other factors, which is why we will gather all of the people are underweight by at the least ten to fifteen pounds. Even if someone is that underweight without an eating disorder, what I’m about to propose could help them as well.
Once we have gathered up all of the underweight Americans, they will be ushered to their respective rehab facilities. There will be one in Kansas, Montana, and Wisconsin. We have found large fields in all three that can be used for these facilities. Each facility will be sponsored different fast food chains. McDonalds, Burger King, and Wendy’s are all ready to help demolish eating disorders. The patients will be randomly assigned to a different facility depending on how underweight they are. If they are 10-13 pounds underweight they will go to a Wendy’s sponsored facility, 14 – 17 will go to Burger King and 18 or more will go to McDonald’s. While in these facilities each person will be monitored by one of the guards, one guard for every five patients. This will also help the economy because it will be giving lots of people jobs. That’s just an added bonus. All patients will be forced to eat at least five meals a day; a meal is considered a burger or some form of their chicken and also comes with at least one large fry, a large soda, and some form of ice cream. They are allowed more if they’d like.
Patients who refuse to eat will be faced with serious consequences. We will set up several feeding tube, similar to the one that Alice Paul was trapped in during her hunger strike, since we are anticipating many people who will not want to eat. Eventually they will give in to our requests and eat. Hopefully they will realize that we are doing this for their own health and safety. We also realize that some may try to regurgitate their food in the bathrooms but we have that taken care of, too. The guards will follow them to the bathroom and stand outside of the stall while they go. If they hear them throwing up they will be forced to eat two extra meals. Again, refusal will result in the use of our feeding tubes.
Once a patient is twenty pounds overweight we will send them back to their homes. They will need regular doctor appointments, preferably every month or two, to make sure that they are no longer underweight. In the end the patients will thank us for enriching their lives and allowing them to become confident in themselves and their appearance again.
Besides interventions and rehabs (which tend not to be as successful as people would like to think; only about 30 to 40% of people ever recover from the disorder), what else could we ever possibly do to fix this problem? Nothing ever seems to work does it? These poor women (and even some men) consider themselves so overweight and grotesque that they need to starve themselves and refuse to allow themselves to intake food. If only there was a way to actually force these people to eat. If only we could do something to fix this is terrible statistic. But there really isn’t anything we can do. If they want to starve themselves we really can’t help them, right? Wrong! If we could gather up every person who is underweight and make them eat, we could help them. I understand that there are people who are just simply overweight due to genetics or other factors, which is why we will gather all of the people are underweight by at the least ten to fifteen pounds. Even if someone is that underweight without an eating disorder, what I’m about to propose could help them as well.
Once we have gathered up all of the underweight Americans, they will be ushered to their respective rehab facilities. There will be one in Kansas, Montana, and Wisconsin. We have found large fields in all three that can be used for these facilities. Each facility will be sponsored different fast food chains. McDonalds, Burger King, and Wendy’s are all ready to help demolish eating disorders. The patients will be randomly assigned to a different facility depending on how underweight they are. If they are 10-13 pounds underweight they will go to a Wendy’s sponsored facility, 14 – 17 will go to Burger King and 18 or more will go to McDonald’s. While in these facilities each person will be monitored by one of the guards, one guard for every five patients. This will also help the economy because it will be giving lots of people jobs. That’s just an added bonus. All patients will be forced to eat at least five meals a day; a meal is considered a burger or some form of their chicken and also comes with at least one large fry, a large soda, and some form of ice cream. They are allowed more if they’d like.
Patients who refuse to eat will be faced with serious consequences. We will set up several feeding tube, similar to the one that Alice Paul was trapped in during her hunger strike, since we are anticipating many people who will not want to eat. Eventually they will give in to our requests and eat. Hopefully they will realize that we are doing this for their own health and safety. We also realize that some may try to regurgitate their food in the bathrooms but we have that taken care of, too. The guards will follow them to the bathroom and stand outside of the stall while they go. If they hear them throwing up they will be forced to eat two extra meals. Again, refusal will result in the use of our feeding tubes.
Once a patient is twenty pounds overweight we will send them back to their homes. They will need regular doctor appointments, preferably every month or two, to make sure that they are no longer underweight. In the end the patients will thank us for enriching their lives and allowing them to become confident in themselves and their appearance again.
A Modest Analysis
Brainstorming an idea to overcome problems within poorer communities in A Modest Proposal, Jonathan Swift utilizes grim irony, touching pathos, and dark comedy to convey his satirical idea of selling and eating babies to prevent poverty and overpopulation.
Swift’s dark comedy is humorous and disturbing in a way that makes reader decide between wanting to laugh and wanting to cringe in revulsion. His idea that “a child will make two dishes at an entertainment for friends, and when the family dines alone, the fore or hind quarters will make a reasonable dish” leaves the reader debating whether Swift is incredibly smart or incredibly crazy. When first hearing the plan, it seems too ridiculous to even imagine but as Swift progresses and goes into more detail, his dark comedy makes the readers question if it is serious plan or if it is meant to be humorous. The fact that the children’s mothers could make a “gain of eight shillings sterling per annum by the sale of their children” is disturbing; most mothers would not even consider selling their children but if they were poor and desperate enough they could be swayed otherwise. Swift’s twisted, sarcastic humor also has a very real and fathomable aspect that makes everything about his proposal questionable and disturbing.
Swift plays on the emotions of his readers by enlightening them on the hardships of the poverty-stricken families who would benefit from his proposal. He displays the image of the streets “crowded with beggars of the female sex, followed by three, four, or six children all in rags” to instill a feeling of sympathy and sorrow in his readers who pity the poor. These women have too many children yet not enough money to support all of them. This is why Swifts idea, selling their babies to be made into food and clothing items, in both aspects; it will rid them of excess children and supply them with a hefty profit. Once the babies are born, “the poorer tenants will have something valuable of their own” since they have nothing else to value. Even during the time of pregnancy, Swift’s plan will increase the living standards of the women; their “men would become as fond of their wives, during the time of their pregnancy, as they are now” because the women would be carrying a good source of income which the husbands value. All of the beggars are portrayed as useless, invaluable, and insignificant, making readers feel sorry and willing to help them in any way possible.
Many of his supportive details and examples have a irony laced throughout them. A small child would, “at a year old, be offered in sale to the persons of quality and fortune” and used for more than just a food source. Their “skin of which, artificially dressed, will make admirable gloves for ladies, and summer boots for fine gentlemen.” Apparently, it would be the wealthy that would be buying and utilizing the infants but if they were in fact wealthy enough to buy anything they wanted why would they need to resort to cannibalism? Would the rich and fortunate really want to waste their money on other people’s babies instead of a different form of possibly finer meat? The husbands of the women carrying their children would no longer “offer to beat or kick them (as is too frequent a practice) for fear of a miscarriage” yet not because they think it is wrong or do not want to hurt their wives. They will stop beatings during the time of pregnancy just in order to prevent a miscarriage but once the baby is brought to term they will resort back to their own ways. Swift’s final statement, “I have no children, by which I can propose to get a single penny; the youngest being nine years old, and my wife pas child-bearing” displays how he can suggest that mothers sell their innocent children to be eaten and used as accessories just to raise money; there is no possible way that he would have to experience the pain of being separated from his child because his are too old to be sold and he will never have another one.
Swift proposes to his readers that the poorer people of Ireland sell their newly born children to raise money for themselves and stop overpopulation at the same time. Selling their children will, ironically, provide food and accessories for the wealthy and provide a way for the poorer tenants to have something of worth and value that they can appreciate; it’s possible they wouldn’t appreciate their child if not for Swift’s proposal.
Swift’s dark comedy is humorous and disturbing in a way that makes reader decide between wanting to laugh and wanting to cringe in revulsion. His idea that “a child will make two dishes at an entertainment for friends, and when the family dines alone, the fore or hind quarters will make a reasonable dish” leaves the reader debating whether Swift is incredibly smart or incredibly crazy. When first hearing the plan, it seems too ridiculous to even imagine but as Swift progresses and goes into more detail, his dark comedy makes the readers question if it is serious plan or if it is meant to be humorous. The fact that the children’s mothers could make a “gain of eight shillings sterling per annum by the sale of their children” is disturbing; most mothers would not even consider selling their children but if they were poor and desperate enough they could be swayed otherwise. Swift’s twisted, sarcastic humor also has a very real and fathomable aspect that makes everything about his proposal questionable and disturbing.
Swift plays on the emotions of his readers by enlightening them on the hardships of the poverty-stricken families who would benefit from his proposal. He displays the image of the streets “crowded with beggars of the female sex, followed by three, four, or six children all in rags” to instill a feeling of sympathy and sorrow in his readers who pity the poor. These women have too many children yet not enough money to support all of them. This is why Swifts idea, selling their babies to be made into food and clothing items, in both aspects; it will rid them of excess children and supply them with a hefty profit. Once the babies are born, “the poorer tenants will have something valuable of their own” since they have nothing else to value. Even during the time of pregnancy, Swift’s plan will increase the living standards of the women; their “men would become as fond of their wives, during the time of their pregnancy, as they are now” because the women would be carrying a good source of income which the husbands value. All of the beggars are portrayed as useless, invaluable, and insignificant, making readers feel sorry and willing to help them in any way possible.
Many of his supportive details and examples have a irony laced throughout them. A small child would, “at a year old, be offered in sale to the persons of quality and fortune” and used for more than just a food source. Their “skin of which, artificially dressed, will make admirable gloves for ladies, and summer boots for fine gentlemen.” Apparently, it would be the wealthy that would be buying and utilizing the infants but if they were in fact wealthy enough to buy anything they wanted why would they need to resort to cannibalism? Would the rich and fortunate really want to waste their money on other people’s babies instead of a different form of possibly finer meat? The husbands of the women carrying their children would no longer “offer to beat or kick them (as is too frequent a practice) for fear of a miscarriage” yet not because they think it is wrong or do not want to hurt their wives. They will stop beatings during the time of pregnancy just in order to prevent a miscarriage but once the baby is brought to term they will resort back to their own ways. Swift’s final statement, “I have no children, by which I can propose to get a single penny; the youngest being nine years old, and my wife pas child-bearing” displays how he can suggest that mothers sell their innocent children to be eaten and used as accessories just to raise money; there is no possible way that he would have to experience the pain of being separated from his child because his are too old to be sold and he will never have another one.
Swift proposes to his readers that the poorer people of Ireland sell their newly born children to raise money for themselves and stop overpopulation at the same time. Selling their children will, ironically, provide food and accessories for the wealthy and provide a way for the poorer tenants to have something of worth and value that they can appreciate; it’s possible they wouldn’t appreciate their child if not for Swift’s proposal.
Thursday, March 8, 2012
Kiss and Tell Excerpt Paragraph
Creating a comic effect through a series of descriptions, dialogues, and actions in the excerpt from Alain de Botton utilizes predictable characterization, first person point of view, and playful banter to convey the idea that families have a way of coming together and connecting despite certain members’ best efforts.
Botton characterizes the Rogers parents as people who seem to be a bit ignorant when it comes to certain social situations through a series of different awkward encounters. Many of the things that both parents do may seem somewhat normal but when done in the presence of Isabel’s date, who they are just meeting for the first time, makes them seem awkward. While the mother is speaking to both her daughter Isabel, and her date, she describes the dress her daughter is wearing as “very nice” though it is a “pity you don’t have more cleavage for it”, a phrase that most mothers would have left out while in the presence of the date. When Isabel first notices her parents she claims that they will eventually be having an argument about something along the lines of “where [Dad] put the car park tickets”, an accusation that is proven to be true when her mother says her “day would be fine if I wasn’t lumbered with someone who kept losing tickets to the car park”. The father seems to be flighty and oblivious which is probably the reason for losing the ticket and “looking up at the ceiling with an intent expression”. Instead of interrogating Isabel’s new boyfriend, he is more interested in investigating the “new tungsten bulbs” in the theater.
Botton characterizes the Rogers parents as people who seem to be a bit ignorant when it comes to certain social situations through a series of different awkward encounters. Many of the things that both parents do may seem somewhat normal but when done in the presence of Isabel’s date, who they are just meeting for the first time, makes them seem awkward. While the mother is speaking to both her daughter Isabel, and her date, she describes the dress her daughter is wearing as “very nice” though it is a “pity you don’t have more cleavage for it”, a phrase that most mothers would have left out while in the presence of the date. When Isabel first notices her parents she claims that they will eventually be having an argument about something along the lines of “where [Dad] put the car park tickets”, an accusation that is proven to be true when her mother says her “day would be fine if I wasn’t lumbered with someone who kept losing tickets to the car park”. The father seems to be flighty and oblivious which is probably the reason for losing the ticket and “looking up at the ceiling with an intent expression”. Instead of interrogating Isabel’s new boyfriend, he is more interested in investigating the “new tungsten bulbs” in the theater.
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
Suburban Thesis
Sidestepping a potential fight between a neighbor in Suburban, John Ciardi utilizes situational irony, unspoken sarcasm, and “gold[en]” symbolism to convey the importance of keeping the peace between neighbors.
Naked Lunch Thesis
Shifting from a casual conversation to a heated debate in Naked Lunch, Michael Hollinger utilizes phallic, manly symbolism, unnoticed sarcasm, and stereotypical characterizations to convey how violent, corrupt people may blow little issues out of proportion, creating domestically violent relationships.
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